2008 Woodie Awards
He Said: Five tips to a perfect relationship
Shaun Mitchell
Issue date: 4/17/08 Section: He Said/She Said
The perfect relationship: the one thing we all strive for at some point in our lives and then, usually, leave behind for the next best thing. We realize there is no such thing as the perfect relationship. But if you realize that you are both happy and loving - that truly is a perfect relationship in a romantic's eyes. Here are five tips to get there:
First off, communication is key. If you can't communicate don't even bother. I don't want to date a wall. Even the guy who had sex with a picnic table complained about the lack of communication. We were made to talk so start flapping your pie hole.
Second, trust is right up there with communication. You need to be able to trust your partner. I would suggest avoiding people with a history of name changes, a closetful of fake ID's, and people who get mysterious phone calls from the CIA. Just a suggestion.
Thirdly, humor is almost more important than the first two. If you can't make your partner laugh and vice versa, you are in for a lifetime of watching Wheel of Fortune in complete silence and finding the humor of Carson Daly funny.
Fourth, spontaneity is a good quality to have. There is nothing more exhilarating than waking up, deciding to go for an impromptu adventure and find a homeless man following you down New York City alleyways. True story.
Lastly, love is so often overlooked in a relationship. You actually have to love the person you are with. You must love them for their explosive flatulence, their oddly shaped ears, and their terrible decision making. Think about it.
I hope these little tips can help you find the perfect relationship, even if you don't believe in such a thing. And if not, I hope it at least made you laugh.
First off, communication is key. If you can't communicate don't even bother. I don't want to date a wall. Even the guy who had sex with a picnic table complained about the lack of communication. We were made to talk so start flapping your pie hole.
Second, trust is right up there with communication. You need to be able to trust your partner. I would suggest avoiding people with a history of name changes, a closetful of fake ID's, and people who get mysterious phone calls from the CIA. Just a suggestion.
Thirdly, humor is almost more important than the first two. If you can't make your partner laugh and vice versa, you are in for a lifetime of watching Wheel of Fortune in complete silence and finding the humor of Carson Daly funny.
Fourth, spontaneity is a good quality to have. There is nothing more exhilarating than waking up, deciding to go for an impromptu adventure and find a homeless man following you down New York City alleyways. True story.
Lastly, love is so often overlooked in a relationship. You actually have to love the person you are with. You must love them for their explosive flatulence, their oddly shaped ears, and their terrible decision making. Think about it.
I hope these little tips can help you find the perfect relationship, even if you don't believe in such a thing. And if not, I hope it at least made you laugh.
Be the first to comment on this story